PsychNest - AVPD

What Is Avoidant Personality?

Despite its name, Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD) doesn't mean someone who stays away from emotional intimacy or avoids relationships. AVPD is defined by a persistent pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation.

Despite their desire for close relationships and social interactions, people with AVPD frequently steer clear of them out of fear of being overlooked or ridiculed. Those with AVPD want connection but are uncomfortable in social situations and have a heightened awareness of being seen as inadequate.

Diagnostic Criteria: Symptoms and Examples

Feeling like an outsider is common, so is being shy. But this personality disorder goes beyond that. The symptoms begin by early adulthood and are present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 4 (or more) of the following 7:

Avoids occupational activities that involve interpersonal contact because of fears of rejection, criticism or disapproval

This means that individuals with AVPD often steer clear of professional situations that require regular interaction with others. This avoidance isn’t due to disinterest or lack of ability, but rather a deep-seated fear of being judged negatively, rejected, or criticized by others. The anxiety tied to these fears can be so intense that even routine conversations or mild feedback can feel humiliating.

They may turn down promotions, shy away from social events at work, or feel extreme distress during meetings. Even casual interactions, like making small talk with coworkers, can become sources of dread. This behavior is often mistaken for introversion or social anxiety, but it’s typically more severe and rooted in a constant fear of being fundamentally flawed. People with AVPD tend to expect rejection in most social situations, which leads them to avoid these experiences entirely—even if it means missing out on opportunities they actually want or would be good at.

2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

This part of the AVPD criteria describes how someone with the disorder may hold back from forming new relationships or even engaging socially unless they feel completely sure that the other person likes them. It’s not just that they’re shy or cautious—it’s that the emotional risk of being disliked feels overwhelming.

Avoidants may not go to social gatherings and may avoid making new friends unless they know without a doubt that they’ll be accepted and liked without criticism. Until signs are shown of that (or until others “pass a test”) then the Avoidant assumes others are disapproving. They won’t join in on group activities until there are repeated reassurances and generous offers of support and clear signs of being wanted.

3. Shows restraint in interpersonal relationships due to fear of ridicule or shame

People with AVPD often hold back emotionally in relationships—even with people they want to get close to—because they’re afraid of being laughed at, judged, or embarrassed. They might avoid expressing their true feelings or opinions out of fear that others will think less of them. This restraint isn’t about being secretive—it’s a protective response. They worry that if they reveal too much, they’ll end up feeling rejected. So, even in close relationships, they might seem emotionally guarded, which can make it hard for others to truly connect with them.

If they do manage to form relationships, it is also common for them to abandon them out of fear of the relationship failing or fear of a real or imaginary rejection by the other party. Some with this disorder may fantasize about idealized, accepting, and affectionate relationships because of their desire to belong. They often feel themselves unworthy of the relationships they desire, and shame themselves from ever attempting to begin them.

4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

People with Avoidant Personality Disorder often experience a constant, overwhelming worry that others are judging them negatively. In social situations, their minds may be flooded with thoughts like “Did I say something stupid?” or “They probably think I’m awkward.”

This fear of criticism or rejection isn’t fleeting—it’s persistent and can take over their thoughts to the point that it’s hard to focus on anything else. Even neutral or positive interactions can be interpreted as signs of disapproval. Because of this mental preoccupation, social situations can feel exhausting, and they may avoid them altogether to escape the anxiety. It’s not that they don’t want connection—they’re just so worried about being hurt that it becomes safer to withdraw.

5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

People with AVPD often feel deeply unsure of themselves, especially around new people. When they enter a new social setting—like starting a new job, meeting someone for the first time, or joining a group—they tend to hold back or stay quiet, not because they don't care, but because they believe they’re not “good enough.”

They may think they’re boring, awkward, or will say the wrong thing, and these feelings of inadequacy can make them freeze up. This self-doubt causes them to be very reserved and cautious, even if they want to connect. They might observe from the sidelines, afraid that any attempt to engage will confirm their fears of being unworthy or out of place.

6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

They may believe that they’re awkward, boring, unattractive, or just “less than” the people around them. These thoughts go beyond occasional self-doubt—they’re usually persistent and deeply ingrained. Even if others compliment or reassure them, they may still feel like they don’t measure up.

This distorted self-image feeds into their fears of rejection and makes it even harder for them to put themselves out there. They might assume that if someone really got to know them, they’d be disappointed or turned off, so they avoid closeness to protect themselves from that imagined rejection.

7. Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

People with Avoidant Personality Disorder often avoid trying new things—not because they’re uninterested or lazy, but because they’re intensely afraid of being embarrassed or judged. Even small risks, like joining a new class, attending a social event, or speaking up in a meeting, can feel overwhelming.

They may tend to imagine worst-case scenarios where they make a mistake, look foolish, or get laughed at. That fear of potential embarrassment can be so strong that it holds them back from doing things they might actually enjoy or benefit from. Over time, this avoidance can lead to missed opportunities, isolation, and a shrinking comfort zone—further reinforcing their belief that it’s safer not to take chances.

Fictional Case Study

Thomas, 26, presents to therapy with complaints of feeling invisible, like no one really knows him. He rarely sees anyone outside of his immediate family and avoids video calls with his business clients whenever possible, preferring email or chat communication. When clients give feedback, even mild, he spirals into self-criticism and often ghosts potential new clients out of anxiety.

He has no close friends and has only been in a couple romantic relationships. He’s intensely lonely but says the idea of meeting new people is “paralyzing.” When invited to events, he either declines or leaves early, convinced no one wants him there.

From an early age, Thomas was shy and withdrawn, preferring to read books or draw rather than interact with other children. He often sat quietly in class and avoided participating in discussions. Thomas reports feeling "out of place" in most social settings and is convinced that others view him as incompetent or unlikeable. He is often preoccupied with how others might perceive him, which led to overthinking conversations and behaviors long after they occurred.

After a thorough assessment, Thomas is diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD).

Self Assessment

The following statements are based on traits often associated with AVPD. Note: this is not a diagnostic tool and should not be used as one- for yourself or others around you. A proper diagnosis should only be made by a qualified mental health professional. These statements may, however, help an individual reflect on their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This inventory is provided for educational and entertainment use only.

Unless someone has shown clear signs of accepting me over a long period of time, I just don’t open up to them or bother getting close.
I find it hard to talk about my feelings because the other person might make fun of them.
I want a good relationship(s) but I feel restricted if I try. I know I avoid affection.
It often takes several attempts to encourage me to join group activities before I will agree to participate.
When meeting new people or in a social setting, I’m hyper aware of being seen as unattractive, inferior or otherwise inadequate.

Next: Anankastic Personality

Back To: Personality Disorders

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse