PsychNest

What is Narcissistic Personality?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

The stigma surrounding narcissism often paints individuals with this disorder as manipulative or villainous but it is important to recognize that narcissism exists on a spectrum. While many people display narcissistic tendencies at times, not everyone qualifies for a full on diagnosis.

Diagnostic Criteria: Symptoms & Examples

A pattern of grandiosity, a lack of empathy and a need for admiration beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, indicated by at least 5 out of 9 of the following symptoms:

Grandiosity: an inflated sense of self importance

Essentially, this person believes they’re unrealistically superior to others, but their thought process isn't always so glaringly obvious. This grandiosity is often a defense mechanism masking deep-seated insecurities. There are two types of grandiosity.

Overt: They frequently boast about achievements and sometimes fabricate facts to appear superior. They may demand recognition, exaggerating their self importance. Someone with NPD can also act condescending, dismissive, or superior toward others, believing they’re more important. They usually dominate conversations and may interrupt others to maintain that spotlight.

Covert: They may feel misunderstood, thinking the world just doesn't get them or really recognize how great they are. They may frame themselves as unique because of an emotional burden or suffering. Instead of bragging about achievements, they might feel superior in more abstract ways: being more pure, more logical, more emotionally sensitive, or more insightful than others.

2. Requires excessive admiration

These individuals may become preoccupied with how they are perceived and go to great lengths to ensure they are recognized. When admiration is not forthcoming, they may react with irritation, withdrawal, or even contempt, viewing others as ungrateful.

They seek admiration as a way of bolstering their self image and feel incomplete without it. This means their sense of self can be highly dependent on how others perceive them. But even when they do receive praise, thanks, or expressions of gratitude, it often isn't enough. This overemphasis on external validation is not merely an occasional preference but a core need.

In one way, narcissists may seek admiration through suffering or through being the “unrecognized hero” in their story. For others with NPD, they may seek admiration through presenting themselves as successful and accomplished in ways that demand praise.

3. Lack of Empathy: is unwilling or unable to identify with the feelings and needs of others

In individuals with NPD, the lack of empathy often appears as a striking inability or unwillingness to genuinely care about the emotional experiences of others. While they may intellectually understand that someone is hurt, they often fail to respond with appropriate concern, compassion, or support. The lack of empathy isn’t necessarily malicious, rather, it’s often a core feature of the disorder.

Conversations and interactions tend to be one-sided, focusing primarily on the narcissist’s own experiences, goals, or problems. When others express their thoughts or feelings, they may be ignored or quickly redirected back to the narcissist’s interests.

A person with NPD might invalidate or minimize someone else’s feelings, suggesting that their emotions are exaggerated or otherwise unimportant. Individuals with this disorder may also struggle to see another person's point of view, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflict within their relationships.

4. Exploitative Behavior

Someone with NPD might manipulate others to serve their needs, whether for material gain, status, or emotional support. They often view relationships as transactional and expect others to contribute to their success or self esteem without concern for the well-being of those involved.

An exploitative person with NPD may take from relationships without giving back. They might make promises or offer minimal gestures of kindness, but these are typically superficial and done only if it furthers their agenda. Likewise, this personality may also take advantage of others' kindness, vulnerability or resources in order to prioritize their own desires.

Narcissists may use compliments or flattery as tools to manipulate people. They may praise someone excessively to lower their guard or to make them feel obligated to return the favor, whether it be emotionally, financially, or socially.

5. Sense of Entitlement

This means they strongly believe they deserve special treatment or recognition without necessarily earning it. It’s like they think the world owes them something just because they exist or because of their perceived superiority.

For someone with more overt (obvious) narcissism, the sense of entitlement is more outwardly demanding. They might expect others to cater to their needs without question, interrupt conversations, or dominate social situations because they believe their time and opinions are more valuable. This entitlement isn’t just about getting what they want, it’s about reinforcing their grand self-image.

By contrast, those with covert narcissism feel deep resentment for not receiving the special treatment they believe they deserve. From their perspective, they're suffering silently because the world fails to recognize their worth. This justifies their belief that they should be admired, it’s just that others are blind or ungrateful. For example, they might do favors or make grand gestures that seem altruistic, but these acts are often seen as investments meant to earn praise or reinforce their moral superiority. These behaviors are typically less about genuine empathy for others and more about gaining admiration enhancing their self-image.

6. Envious of others or believes others are envious of them

A person with NPD often believes they are the most important or special person around, so when someone else achieves success or is admired, it can feel like a personal threat. The narcissist might feel envious because they perceive that someone else is getting something they deserve. If they see someone else doing better, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or inferiority, even though they might not openly admit it. This can be frustrating for them, as it disrupts their belief in their own superiority.

Narcissists typically have an inflated sense of their own worth. Because of this, they may believe others are constantly admiring them, wanting to be like them, or envious of their achievements. Because they sometimes feel envious of others, they might assume that others feel the same way about them, even if no one has shown any envy.

7. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

This belief in their own superiority can manifest in an overtly arrogant or dismissive attitude towards others. For example, they might talk about their accomplishments as though they’re unique or unmatched, while disregarding or downplaying the achievements of others. They may speak to others in a patronizing manner, frequently talking down to people they consider beneath them. The narcissist might belittle others to make themselves feel better, suggesting that their opinions or perspectives are the only ones that matter.

A narcissist might deliberately maintain physical distance, avoid eye contact, or display nonverbal cues (such as rolling their eyes, sneering, or crossing arms) to convey disdain or superiority. They may cut people off in conversations and revert the subject back to them.

8. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

They may frequently fantasize about being incredibly wealthy, famous, or successful, without acknowledging the hard work, struggles, or realistic challenges involved. There can also be fantasies of being in complete control or having an overwhelming influence over others. This might manifest as imagining oneself as a powerful dictator. They may also fantasize about being intellectually superior, incredibly talented, or exceptionally gifted.

An intense preoccupation with physical appearance or attractiveness can occur. They may constantly think about their image, how they are perceived, or how they compare to others. A love fantasy can involve an imagined, perfect romantic relationship where they are admired and worshipped. The individual might believe that they deserve a partner who fulfills their every need and that the relationship will be flawless, overlooking complexities.

9. Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

This refers to a belief that they cannot relate to or be understood by ordinary individuals or people who don’t meet their high standards. They may prefer to surround themselves with individuals who are equally high-status, famous, influential, or perceived as special in some way.

This belief that they're special is not just a mild sense of confidence but a deep conviction that they stand out in an almost exalted way. To reinforce this mindset, people with NPD may require constant admiration and without it, they could feel slighted because their sense of uniqueness depends on recognition from others.

Fictional Case Study

Alex, 29, begins therapy because he feels like his life is falling apart and nothing is going the way he wants. Everyone just seems to have it out for him lately. In the first few sessions, he complains of an inability to tolerate other people’s stupidity. He frequently struggles with feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction, attributing these emotions to being unappreciated. This has led to depressive symptoms.

At his job, Alex has experienced a few problems. Any minor setbacks or criticism from his boss will lead to intense feelings of humiliation and the belief that he is being wronged. However, he claims his coworkers are simply jealous that he's better than them. He insists others just can’t handle his brutal honesty and says if he were in charge, everything would run smoother.

A deeper look shows that Alex is preoccupied with how others view him. If he doesn’t feel acknowledged on a regular basis, he then becomes irritable and isolates himself. Being vulnerable is difficult for Alex, any need for emotional support is considered a display of weakness. Similarly, his relationships are marked by a lack of emotional intimacy. He has some acquaintances but states that no one really knows him. When it comes to his partners, Alex has a hard time seeing their needs, feelings, or struggles as equally important.

Alex meets the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Self Assessment

The following statements are based on traits often associated with NPD. Note: this is not a diagnostic tool and should not be used as one- for yourself or others around you. A proper diagnosis should only be made by a qualified mental health professional. These statements may, however, help an individual reflect on their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This inventory is provided for educational and entertainment use only.

I often feel misunderstood or unappreciated; even when others acknowledge my efforts, it doesn't feel like enough.
When someone tells me I hurt them, I struggle to see why it matters or think they're being too sensitive.
Most rules or expectations don't really apply to me, but I keep this feeling to myself.
When someone else is praised, I usually feel irritated by their success.
If I make a mistake, I feel others should overlook it because of how much I usually contribute.
It's hard to enjoy a relationship unless I feel admired regularly. Sometimes I expect praise even for small things that seem normal or routine to others.
I think I deserve better than what I’ve gotten in work, relationships, or life.

Next: Borderline Personality

Back To: Personality Disorders

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse